Superpowers

“ahhh burrr (Sam’s favourite word currently), so sleepy”, said Sam. His eyelids felt as heavy as a boob waiting to be suckled. He was at grandma’s waiting for Mummy and Daddy to come pick him up.

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“just… one more…taste…my…yummy hands” but Sam unknowingly drifts off on a daring adventure, complete with all-you-can-drink milk bars (boobs), dodging crazy huge adult faces, and oversized, intruding extremities.

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BANG! a sudden, loud sound (usually a cough or sneeze) startles Sam awake. Light slowly fills his eyes as he squints to focus on an unfamiliar place. “keh keh, ahhh guuurrr, where am i?” he wonders aloud to himself.

“Sammmm, you’re at home!” cooed Mummy.

“but but… how!?” said Sam, perplexed.

“Could it really be? I have super powers!? One moment i was at grandma’s, and the next, here, at home!” Sam’s thoughts went wild. “now, if i close my eyes for a bit longer, i’ll end up back at grandma’s!”

10 hours later, Sam the teleporter, is back at grandma’s… sucking on his hands. but that is a story for another day.

 

 

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Sam the Caterpillar

This is a story about Sam, the 6 week old caterpillar.

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Sam has been growing well and has put on more than 1 whole kilo since he hatched. Some might call him a fatter-pillar. He recently went through a metamorphosis of sorts, from a quiet little bug, to a loud, shouty kind of bug.

The parental bugs have had much trouble settling him into bed. You see, Sam the caterpillar has learnt a new skill, one that makes strategic use of his hands. While being rocked to the point of drowsiness, Sam will sneakily grab onto parental bugs’ outer wear (also known as clothing) and not let go.

And when it comes time to lay Sam’s sleepy head down onto the bed, he wakes up when he loses his grip of the parental bugs’ outerwear.

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Oh, poor parental bugs, they have to put Sam the caterpillar back to sleep (to the point of drowsiness) again.

Most other times, Sam the caterpillar has aspirations to become a butterfly, often staring at bright lights on the ceiling. He has also been observed squirming out of his exo-skeleton to free his… hands!

One day, when Sam the caterpillar becomes an independent butterfly, these stories will follow him (and his wife). But that’s another story for another day.

Do not hit the breast that feeds you

Thou shalt not hit the sore, bruised, and uncomfortable factory that produces our basic nourishment. The ramifications of our actions could be far reaching. For example, the factory could shut down due to worker strikes, or emergency evacuation due to earthquake.

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Want to eat? here are some dos and donts:

1) Do not hit / scratch the breast
2) Do not anyhowly bite the nipple – you will discover the horrors of the bhai’i what colour when you grow up
3) Do not fight the hand that correctly positions your head – it’s for your own (and mummy’s) good.
4) Do not purposely fall asleep at the breast – we don’t fall asleep at the dining table, and neither should you.
5) Do latch properly on the nipple – off centre to the areola is much appreciated
6) Do drink up (you’ll have to do this 18 years down the road as well, training starts early)
7) Do look satisfied after drinking, even if you are still hungry