Do not hit the breast that feeds you

Thou shalt not hit the sore, bruised, and uncomfortable factory that produces our basic nourishment. The ramifications of our actions could be far reaching. For example, the factory could shut down due to worker strikes, or emergency evacuation due to earthquake.

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Want to eat? here are some dos and donts:

1) Do not hit / scratch the breast
2) Do not anyhowly bite the nipple – you will discover the horrors of the bhai’i what colour when you grow up
3) Do not fight the hand that correctly positions your head – it’s for your own (and mummy’s) good.
4) Do not purposely fall asleep at the breast – we don’t fall asleep at the dining table, and neither should you.
5) Do latch properly on the nipple – off centre to the areola is much appreciated
6) Do drink up (you’ll have to do this 18 years down the road as well, training starts early)
7) Do look satisfied after drinking, even if you are still hungry

 

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Author: BurpedBaby

The authors are sleep deprived first time parents, starting out on this fresh new challenge. Our interests include: Feeding on demand, burping babies, and changing nappies. In another life, we were full of energy and excitement, ready to take on the world.

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